“The Red-Tape-for-Money Blues” could be a song for millions. Not that I mind. As a single parent, I have chosen to be in a lot of state and federal programs to bring in resources. SNAP, Pre-K vouchers, and Arkansas Rehabilitation have all been a part of the strategy. As many of you know, in order to receive services one must have work of some kind. If you are a student, parent, or immigrant there are changes the nature of what someone might have to do or keep track of things during this process. I am an independent artist, as well as a student this year. So there is a lot of red tape to sort through. I’d say I’m at about 80% efficiency since being out of the university world for 15 months, but I believe the rate will increase quickly.Read More »
A couple of things were on my mind during this morning’s meditation. One, being meditation. Well, meditative techniques that is. And the second thing is minimalism. It could appear that these things are connected, but outside of both being thoughts within me and the goals generated they aren’t really. One notion has been with me for a very long time (subjective considering the length of my life). The the other hasn’t been in my mind much until the last 8 months. Neither are very western concepts, and I imagine my social and familial environments will openly support the new, and already do the old, but both are made more difficult by the environment.Read More »
Seven days ago, at this very moment, I was barely conscious from pain. A shell of myself, I had turned on the BBC series Life Story, which would be followed by Life. The illness lasted long enough for me to “watch” these magnificent displays of entertainment back to back without interruption. I imagine I am not alone when I reveal David Attenborough’s voice soothes nigh unequivocally. I have only known one other voice that has inspired such an effect in me. The pain wasn’t going to leave me for another twelve hours, so the marathon run of nature documentaries provided a mix of natural sounds, beautiful music, and a soothing voice swaddling me with an auditory blanket to ease my sufferings. This sickness wouldn’t end up being the most traumatic event of the last seven days.Read More »
Woof! That was a day of genuine funk. I woke yesterday with rage burning through me. Everything I did in efforts to shake it failed. I only took a little of it out on those around me, trying to check myself moment to moment. I ended up reading and reading and reading some more. The Life of Charlotte Brontë by Elizabeth Gaskell fell first, followed by Soul Music by Terry Pratchett. I have this other thing too, when I finish a book, I get the next one out and read the first few pages. Well, I prefer to read the first 10 or so pages to get me rolling. So, I replaced E. Gaskell with Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and moved to the next Pratchett book on the shelf, Equal Rites. Me being me and yesterday being yesterday, Equal Rites almost didn’t make it to today. I stopped 25 pages short to have dinner and go to a house-warming shindig. I’ve not finished a book in one day for quite some time. Not a streak I am trying to break, but sometimes a bad day comes and one just has to bury themselves in four books to stave off the demons.Read More »
There are thousands of years of history that will empirically prove that the common person has had almost no say in government. Yes, you should participate if you are fortunate enough to be born in a society where that is allowed, but unless you are willing to be arrested right now, at work or home, grocery store or bus for the change you seek, and even then your voice means next to nothing in the design of the ruling class—unless you are the ruling class. Are you?Read More »
Something’s changed in me. I don’t know what it is really. Something about the way my mind is working. It isn’t a dramatic change. (Ivy just came in, handed me a cupcake, looked to the laptop monitor and said, “Daddy, you’re doing a pretty good job of writing.” The sheer force of a father’s love is breathtaking at times) The change came while taking refuge at my mother’s house after a hectic few weeks full of pain, pleasure, and change. And today, the storm has come home.Read More »
Another Sunday is upon us. The weekend, which had some interesting twists and turns, will end one of the most productive weeks in years.
One of my musician clients landed a sponsorship deal that will make the venue we work out of even more friendly. Which isn’t to say that this venue hasn’t been friendly, quite the contrary. But, the addition of a sponsorship (the first of many to come we hope) along with the residency at this venue has been a huge windfall. It is rare that I bathe in good news, and while that is some of it from this week, there is more.Read More »
So, I’ve had this issue. More relationship crap. Early apologies for what I am about to dump on to the internet.
See, she officially left me seven months ago, the relationship didn’t really exist anymore nine months ago. I want to report to everyone that I am no longer in love and blocking her has been a successful way to put her from my everyday life.
As you have already guessed, all efforts have been huge failures. The few, little, near-hit new relationships which I’ve tried to show interest in have all been flimsy because of this factor, at least in part. Going into honest and new relationships with people is likely best attempted with a clear mind and innocent heart.
Of course, that’s hooey.Read More »
The good news is that it has been a pretty cool morning. Ivy had some getting off to school without anxiety issues this morning, but nothing too traumatic, more operatic. Nana let me know that she’d be yard-sale hunting this morning, and that she wanted to take Ivy to school. I don’t think this lessened any of her anxieties, but they certainly opened up my schedule for meditation and writing. Which I have done happily.
Meditation this morning ended up being particularly healthy. I kept it simple. Fifteen minutes in a broken lotus, which did bring a crescendo of pain in my right ankle throughout the meditation, brought a much needed exercise in letting go of many processing thoughts and emotions. Some of them were negative, naturally, but letting go of the good emotions and feelings is just as important, for it is difficult to gather new positive memories and thoughts if we hold onto the past’s joy. As well, it just so happens actually having fun accomplishments to share this morning means, Gentle Reader, this is a good day to be reading an MM.Read More »
The writing difficulties, which I believe these are well documented in recent MMs, have continued a bit, perhaps diminished. The most direct result has been morning meditations that get started but never finished. I’ve been trying out and then testing a method of composition for times when I am not able to be at the computer. This method is talk to text dictation, then I can go back through and edit at the keyboard when I get the thirty minutes to knock it out.
I have tried now tried to dictate the last three MMs. Until today, I had yet to find my proper stride allowing me to finish an MM. It had been working out well for a few hundred words here or there. Today it seems I will overcome this hurdle. That does feel good. Of course, this hasn’t been the only problem.Read More »