Over the last week, I have been wrapped up in a new venture. Some of you will have noticed my studio partner and myself at local music venues with a bunch of video camera gear. This is an exciting new time in my life. I have been a video and DVD composer for years, but was never inspired to make any of it public. Mostly because it has always been ripped documentaries and porn. Now, in collaborative efforts, this shit is about to start rolling out, business cards are on the way, editing workflow is becoming more smooth, yes things are afoot. So, if you are out on the town, keep your head on a swivel, Capture Crew could be near by.
This isn’t the only thing worth talking about. I’m sure many have noticed more writing than usual flowing out of my social media. Well, Gentle Reader, that’s because the streak is running smoothly. Not saying what I am writing is changing the world, but when I write I feel like I am changing myself. Setting up habits that may be maintainable for years rather than months. I am officially one week into the new streak and depending on how today ends, averaging two thousand words a day. Articles, blogs, notes, and even some long-winded advice has made it into the count. Hell, I’ve even found a little fiction writing in the mix and have a hunch that there is a lot more swirling around behind these varying chroma of blue.
Nothing special about the workouts and yoga. Well, no advances anyways. Trying to work back into my springtime weight lifting regiment, but that is tough. Taking it slow and thorough. I think when I am there I’ll have a more intense and longer workout, but will only be every other day. I have added an extra exercise per workout. This brings the tally up to 320 reps. Only able to get through two sets at this time. I did trim a whole second off of my mile time this week. So, woo!
The last thing I would like to address today is the state of my emotions. I was a little contemplative earlier, and noticed sadness isn’t quite a strong as it’s been over the last 15 months. I suppose this could be considered a “win.” But, I don’t really go there. To suggest emotions like happiness and joy could be some kind of achievement or goal no longer makes any sense to me. The reflective self could be pleased about a life, or the future seeing self could be excited about a possibility. Yet, there is no way to sustain any particular emotional state constantly. It would be dangerous to try.
Imagine trying to be happy, excited, joyful, grateful, etc. all the time. You will quickly become annoyed at the person you imagine becoming. If such an experiment were tried, a person would quickly find themselves alienating loved ones and avoidance from strangers with constant inappropriate behavior.
“Your uncle just passed away.”
“That’s so awesome. Thrilled to hear it. I choose to be happy, happy, happy, joy, joy, joy!”
Name any emotional state and run this experiment. The reason emotions are so amazing and powerful is that they should be balanced. Meaning, we may not feel genuine happiness for days, but when it comes, being in the present with that experience is worth the wait. Same with sadness. A state of perpetual sadness is called “depression.” Sadness releases stress hormones; prolonged exposure to those molecules will start to become physiologically harmful in a short amount of time. Name any emotion and you will quickly get tired of it when subjected to constancy.
Not to mention, I no longer fear sadness like I did. Some folks will go to ridiculous measures to avoid feeling sad. I don’t have to fear my anger or regret any longer either. I just accept them for what they are, me. They make me whole.
That’s what it means to be whole.