Morning Meditations #45: Scrumptious Center with a Delicious Coating

Wake up on time: fail. Get Ivy up, fed, and to bus stop: check. Meditation: check. Copious amounts of study this morning: check. Prepare study materials for the rest of day: check. Work out: check. Start writing: boom!

It has been a difficult two weeks emotionally. Those that keep track will know the reason, so I will talk a little about the present and future. Beginning with the later.

I almost have all of the small details ready for grad school applications, now it’s just the big stuff. GRE on the 23rd, two personal statements, and deciding on the twenty pages of fiction. Those are all almost ready as well, but the personal statements need reviewing, as well, the GRE cannot be hurried. What to do after all has been submitted?

I have thought about getting some kind of regular job, but the idea of wandering back into some random part time clerk job makes me reach for a pair of crutches. I don’t really have much experience for office work and have virtually no wardrobe for it. So, no matter where I try, it’ll be convincing someone that with a bad back, grad school coming, and being a single parent with limited hour potential that I am the right man for their twenty hour position. Oh yeah, I am a degree holder too, so none of that low pay shit. My opportunities are limited, but I have decided to test the water anyways, can’t hurt.

I know I will be writing full time again. The writing challenge has been put on hold until after the GRE, and even then, I will be starting a new count and new streak. I don’t know how many words I have actually written since I backed off the challenge several weeks ago to start studying, but I know in five more MM posts there will be over 25k in MMs alone. Fairly sure that it is somewhere in the 100k range since I began—amazing really. Got novel to finish, as well as some other projects that I will be able to devote some real time to finally, so it seems no matter what, I will have plenty on my plate after the application flies.

This brings me to the present. Some heavier weights donated by my homie Chris have made the 420 daily reps of upper body quite productive. This, mixed with continued strength building in the core and lower body, has produced a physical form that I am proud of for the first time in life. I have always been strong, but strong and cute, this is new territory. I have had to resist selfies and showing off (this one slips thorough if I run into someone who hasn’t seen me since the transformative process began yielding results). Not too difficult, as I still have work to do on what I want my body to look like. Strangely, this has very little to do with actually looking good.

I am officially addicted to morning fires.
I am officially addicted to morning fires.

I know that attraction is around eighty percent proximity anyways, so looking good isn’t going to help anyone who doesn’t put themselves in the path of others, but the truth is, almost everyone is attractive to everyone else among healthy people (Please note, this is concerning physical attraction only). This being the case, the reps are really about being a healthy representative on the outside of the beautiful cat which lives within this meat sack.

So far, all critical voices approve of both sides of the equation at a very high level. Admittedly, I am pleased too, as having a scrumptious filling surrounded by a delicious coating fulfills me like only one other thing I can think of right now (refer to first line of second paragraph). Staying the course and raising the bar for myself is what today, and the future, have coming.

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