Yesterday, I made a promise to myself to stay off of social media, Google searches, and all around internet temptations. I kept my promise. This was inspired by and new acquaintance, who is fast becoming a friend. She texted me at just after 5:00 and reminded me of the date, 9/11, and of all the “memes” which would be assaulting everyone’s news feeds. Reading about sadness and confirmations of false flag operations doesn’t seem to be a very awesome way to memorialize the murdered citizens, family members, and lucky few that were only injured. I chose a different type of memorial.
As I later told a very good friend, it seems to me that the best way to show the world that I remember that day and our loss is to “be.” Do things that show that you appreciate the life you have within the environment you exist. So rather than fire up the internet and word-processing program, I took a nap, cooked (Ivy even pitched in on a salad), studied for the GRE (fuck math), communicated with friends via the old telephone, laughed at my pain, studied more meditative techniques, and drank beer (30 oz). It was a fantastic day.
I will admit that it bothered me to not write a little bit, but you know, by the end of the day I felt so grateful to myself that I had not succumbed writing wasn’t even on my radar. The new friend would later commend me by saying that my behavior showed control, “like a monk, with [my] internet vow. Impressive.” Worth it too. Now, before I get too high on myself, concerning temptation, I must admit it was difficult. I would check my phone for missed calls, noticing that a new status update would be advertised on my phone. People I desperately (that’s not a typo or awkward wording—desperate was the feeling, knowing you aren’t going to find out) wanted to acknowledge and see what they were posting. I don’t know if “monk-like” is the best descriptor, but I can tell you it made me feel strength.
Obviously, I am back in action today. I just looked at my phone and the Facebook notifications bubble reads “47.” I will be clearing these and not checking to see what they were. My last action of yesterday’s unplugging will be to let go of what I didn’t learn, what I missed. If it is truly important, I will be reminded to check it out. Otherwise, what I did learn yesterday is more than enough to fill several days of modern living.
I start back on full body scans for my morning meditation today. Looking forward to it. The yoga is amazing, I cannot fully describe how amazing it has been. I can tell the difference in the benefits, and I am craving the body scans. Yoga is more physically demanding. Body scans are pure patience and self awareness. In my opinion, they are far more challenging when it comes to focus.
Yoga can help itself to completion by a desire to move to the next exercise or examining how a pose makes you feel. In other words, there is lots of feedback. Body scans don’t have the same properties in this regard. The feedback you get isn’t a type that often registers in the moment, as the entire goal is to self-examine and then let go, to stop observing any particular feeling and move past it. The peace it brings gives me chills while I type. I think I will execute now.
I had fun while I was gone, but it is good to be back. Good morning meditations to you all!
Something I love about myself is:
24. My ability to care for my wounds. Every great once and a while I’ll get an injury or wound that I need a little help with, but by and large, I am capable of caring for my damage well. Often, my friends and loved ones come to me for advice about how to care for their damages. Sometimes my best advice is to “go get that checked out.” As far I know, I have never once made it worse.