Morning Meditations #28: “Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to Quit Sniffing Glue.”

I have something against lists and haven’t been able to pin down exactly what it is. Yesterday, against my better judgment, I made a list of things going on in my life because I see the agenda storm coming. All my goals and obligations were starting to pile up making it very difficult to see what needed to be done first, or what needed to be put off. This morning I only have one meeting, and then it will be time to prioritize this list. Which likely means a set of smaller lists. Gross.

I know a large part of why I feel this way is the amount of lists I have seen people make, only to watch them be content with the list, never acting or following these beloved lists. This gets interpreted as pathology in my brain. “Why did you make a fucking list if you never intended to follow the damn thing.” Okay, okay. A little harsh, I know (I am laughing at myself right now).

Let me rephrase. The calories expended on list making in order to prioritize will only be helpful if behaviors follow. Likewise, one can only efficiently prioritize if they have clear goals and outcomes they seek to make reality. Tall order.

IMG_0508I think the power of listing may actually be in making two lists. Think of the first list as a draft for the way you wish your priorities would line up. Then compose a second list after this first one has had time to irritate you about its incorrectness, or there is enough time and perspective for you to notice that you nailed it.

Now, I know that it may seem a bit odd for an anti-lister to advocate multiple lists, but damn it, “this is water.” If we feel the need to prioritize and visualize in the form of words on a page or screen, knock it out. But if you are going to execute, take it up a notch. Don’t just list—list well. Then make sure you follow that list. You don’t even have to follow it word for word, only make sure the effort you put into composing your list is shadowed by the effort you put forth to cross items off the list.

I admit to having missed my morning yoga and/or meditation the last few days. This hasn’t caused any turmoil, but then again a little sleeping owl has been watching over me at nights and snuggling.  Although the comfort I feel from this happy creature is pure, this short mindfulness dearth will be ending within the hour.

Something I love about myself is:

23. My patience. “I am disturbingly patient,” is something I tell people when they warn me about how long something will take. This has always been true for me. Sometimes, it can seem like I am not being patient. This is actually an expression of frustration and anxiety about an unchangeable or uncontrollable situation. Yet, with feet to the fire, I will never waiver on the power of staying true to my goals, feelings, and promises. It is one of the things that love most about the things I love most about myself. *wink*


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