Morning Meditations #11: I Am Not Winning Them All

This morning, I hope that I can be forgiven. Last night, I spoke with the dearest of friends, and she asked me to describe a certain very painful moment which she hadn’t yet heard about. I got lost in it. She got angry. Neither of us were very good listeners for each other after that. I hope she can forgive me; I forgive her. I hope to wake her up at 8:00, which had priority in the attempt to get a hold of me. I only claim to be moving towards becoming the best listener I can be, not there yet. Very close.

I will forgive myself. I invite everyone who is reading this right now to forgive yourself for something that you regret. Not asking anyone to forgive themselves of their deepest sorrows, only that everyone open their minds to self-forgiveness on something that is nagging them. Forgive thyself, and move forward.

This is an evening photo, but I couldn't resist because it is just that beautiful.
This is an evening photo, but I couldn’t resist      because it is that beautiful.

Today I finish physical therapy for the year, as well, my cognitive therapist thinks that we are close to the end of our sessions for now. I am so pleased with the tools they have given me. I am changing daily, strengthening myself, moving toward the goals and potential everyone claims to see in me. I can’t wait to realize and behave in ways that will make people proud, while helping me to realize fulfillment.

I will study languages daily. I have been slacking off with my study of different languages. I mostly study Spanish currently, but I am also becoming a fair hand at German, my Irish is in its early game, and Latin is next on the list.

I will take a few minutes to organize my study and office areas. The dearest of friends I spoke of at the beginning of this post gifted me a standing desk. It has a silver computer monitor on it and a little riser on the back-right corner. The surface is a simulated wood grain with a piece of plexiglass over the it (one of her trademarks for furniture building, which reminds me to put a piece of plexiglass over the side table I made at mom’s). This very useful creation in my home is covered with the aftermath of life changes. I will not spend too much time on it. Quality time to, as she would say, make it beautiful.

I have a very important email to compose today and it will be the writing focus after I finish here. On this email rides several things, largest being what this blog series is all about. Goals. But there are also my potential missions, futures, careers, resources, life; watching carefully from the sidelines, as I try to touch the thing eluding so many of us. Peace.

Something I love about myself is:

6. My music. “I feel like the drums play me.” (Me!) Getting to be in the studio last night felt great. We were helping a local songwriter/performer pursue something that has driven his entire life. Working on songs he wrote twenty years ago, something occurs to me: I am always overwhelmed by what music can reveal about myself and those around me.


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