Morning Meditations #7: I Have Been Here Before

I will be okay.

Normally I would rail against a statement like this. As well, a great many variations to a great many people exist for the statement. So, why would I feel the authority or necessity to mention it this morning? The simplest answer I can imagine, here and now, is I have fought and won a particular set of battles over the last few days which, I believe, have been ghosts and demons of mine for well into two decades. Some of them are interpersonal; some of them are good old fashioned personal problems.

I will embrace my face. This may sound a bit odd coming from me, but after the first clean shave in nearly twenty-five years, I can say with absoluteness, I like my face. I had been hiding behind chin-whiskers for so long, ashamed and afraid of my face, for no good reason other than the conditioning I endured resulting in my hated self image. I thought my whole face would be unattractive due to a double chin from weight, a lack of chin from genetics, a turkey neck, or illusions of the types which I cannot speculate, as I have no clear image of thoughts around my self loathing any longer. I have come through a fog, but it remains too dense to see clearly the monsters within. I have given them up, and like cigarettes, I now have no idea why I ever started in the first place (I think it is drama, stress, and/or fear that kick off most bad habits which don’t have a chemical genesis).

A huge goal for me this morning is getting Ivy to her first day of Kindergarten successfully. Surprisingly this is not my largest goal of the day. My reasoning is simple. “Act like you have been there before.”

This is a tool for overcoming fear. This is also a tool for handling success. Whoa! Excellent dynamics. The tool for overcoming success seems more evident (I think they are both very obvious, but I’ve been thinking around them for several years). If you are having a great deal of success, a great way to make sure that you don’t become complacent or begin taking things for granted is to put the success into a routine category rather than a label of “success” on achievement even. This is not to say that one shouldn’t celebrate, but if you do, remember to also celebrate moments in which nothing is happening out of the ordinary.

Using it as a tool to prevent fear from directing your Cartesian Theater is not quite as evident but still a no-brainer. If a big event is next, just act like you have been there before. IMG_0333The funny thing is you have. We have all had to take that leap into something new. Nobody who pilots their own lives can say otherwise, and in fact, the likelihood is that we all do this daily. Some little something or other that you have never had to do exactly like the way you will have to today will come up, and you will have to try it without knowing if you will succeed. We think that big events are big, but all events are just events, so act like you’ve been there before.

Something I love about myself is:

 2. My clean shaven face.


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