My primary goal for today doesn’t come until the end of the day. My therapist says he is worried about my sleep habits and amounts. I have made the commitment to waking earlier, but the will to go to bed earlier still fights me. I want the feeling of being up late to slip in some entertainment. I don’t want to be up late just to be entertained. Therfore, my primary goal of the day is to fall asleep before 22:00. This, in my opinion, is best facilitated by work ethic.
Captured in the phrase, “work smarter, not harder.” My “work” is writing, raising my daughter, physical therapy, cognitive therapy, and being a single father head of house hold (aka house work.). So, my secondary goal is to be more productive at the keyboard and while I am researching. This way, once I get to the end of a day, I don’t need to be entertained because I will be fulfilled.
I will be a great father today, because I was not yesterday.
I am reading a book called Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence by Matthew Sanford. When I checked out the book from the West Fork Municipal Library and read the inside dust jacket, I became curious right away. I will not tell too much, as I plan on reviewing the book officially. But, I will say, this author has been through enough trauma to find the brink of extinction. Indeed, death does make an appearance in this book, but death and loss are not themes. The thing that this book allowed me to do last night, and what the book is detailing a process of, is to see myself and my back condition as an opportunity.
I suffer daily from a back condition that one cannot see from just looking, like scoliosis or the like. It causes severe amounts of pain and is likely one of the prime candidates from which my lack of coping strategies in the modern me live. Waking has allowed me to have my eyes opened to the possibility my condition may be the very thing that gives me the strength stand apart. I will use a degenerative condition to produce a regenerated self.
As a toast to the first day of my second therapy session, I will be publishing a new blog today before the lunch hour, central time. This brings a higher level of detail to the cognitive therapy experience than I have been able to articulate in the “Morning Meditations” series thus far. I also, ambitiously, have included the blueprint for the way I do the first exercise called “Progressive Muscle Relaxation.” This is a technique based on muscle flex and release, while keeping breathing at a full and even pace. Most closely related to yoga, yet another thing that brought me closer to Matthew Sanford as an author aside from the fact that I think his memoir is brilliant. Not saying my blueprint is any better than any other one that someone could use, but it works really well for me.
Today, I will help others to see me.